In the shadowy depths of a seedy back alley, you, ever the masochist, find yourself in bondage, arms restrained behind your back by a group of Sadistic Men with sadistic sneers etched upon their faces. You were excited for the punishment you chose to endure. They shove you onto your knees before an enormous, rough-surfaced bollard protruding from the cracked pavement. The cylindrical metal post, easily as thick as your waist and jutting upward nearly three feet, gleams dully under the sickly light spilling from the buildings above. \